Kate asks :

Hi Lucy,

I started texting someone who had previously done work at my house. I really had feelings for him and thought he had for me. He seemed so nice. However the texts from him always became sexual. He never suggested meeting he just seemed to enjoy the texting. After a few months of off and on texting he stopped and I didn't hear from him again. We were both married at the time although I heard he had spilt up with her since. I can't stop thinking about him.

 

Hi Kate,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

This sounds like a confusing situation to be in, when this man appeared  to lead you on only to cut all contact with you afterwards.

If the texts always descended into something sexual then maybe that is all he wanted; some suggestive flirting without any repercussions.

It could be that things were not going well sexually with you and your husband and his attention and flirtation made you feel something more for him. If he is no longer with his wife then perhaps he needed some excitement in his life too if his marriage was on the rocks and you gave him another focus. Anything of this nature is usually a sign that something in the relationship is lacking and the new person is helping to fill those gaps.

If he didn’t suggest meeting you then maybe he didn’t want to and only wanted something light-hearted. If you were willing to meet up, however, then this could mean something for you and your husband. If you feel like you are ready to sleep with another man then perhaps look into your current relationship. It might be better to address things there first before complicating it with another man in the mix.

This new guy might have a new attitude towards your interaction now he is not with his wife. You perhaps just need to decide if you want to leave your partner or start an affair or start exploring what you could do to fix your marriage.

 


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