Emma asks :
Hi Lucy,
I've been with my boyfriend for around 8 months and I recently found out that he has a child. He doesn't have anything to do with the child (this is not his fault) but pays maintenance. He's the only person I've ever loved and he knows this - he has always told me he doesn't want children and knows I do. This has confused me majorly. I don't know what to do...
Hi Emma,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Perhaps the reason he doesn’t want children now is because of what has happened in his past. If he can’t see his child but pays towards him/ her then he might be afraid that this could happen again. It doesn’t sound like the ideal situation for a parent.
That said if you want children and he doesn't that is a big compromise to make on your part if he does not change his mind and a lot to ask of him if he doesn’t want another. You may love each other but differences in opinion over such as this can break a couple further into the relationship.
Perhaps talk to him about it and ask him if it has to with his bad experience or if it is something else. It is probably in your interest to find out before you fall any deeper in love with him or you could end up getting hurt further down the line.
tagged in Child boyfriend yin and yang agony aunt
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