Aishling asks :
Hi Lucy,
I'm 20 and I just got out of a long term relationship last week and I feel like I am alone. I can't find a job and unfortunately I have to go on the dole. I stayed with a guy 2 nights in a row and made sure my parents knew I was ok but when I got home they freaked out at me and told me I need to get my life together and told me off like a child and now I feel like I have no purpose in life. I'm just finished 2 years hair and beauty training in college and finding it almost impossible to find a job. I'm sick of being treated like a child. My mother recently told me she's going to cut the ties a little bit and leave me live my own life but when I just start to she starts to treat me like a child again. Am I the only one who feels this way? Is it going to get better?
Our Reply
Hi Aishling,
It can be difficult to try and maintain some sort of independence when you are still living with your parents. Many people in their early twenties are feeling this way, so you are not alone. Parents will always see you as their baby no matter how old you get so you will never entirely escape this despite how hard you try.
It may seem difficult to get a job right now, however if you perservere, something will likely come along. I would suggest that you allot some time each week to sending out CVs and tailoring them to each place you send them rather than sending something generic. This gives a much better impression to prospective employers.
If you are on the dole and have some income could you volunteer in a salon so you have got something to keep you practised since your training? This would also look good to employers as it shows a keenness to keep your skills at a certain level rather than letting them slip.
Perhaps if you are able to get out of the house and spend your day doing something productive this will help you to focus less on your break up and your mum and dad’s behaviours right now. It will show then that you are intent on moving on and progressing so you might find that they begin to treat you more like an adult because you are taking charge of your future.
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