Victoria asks :
Hi Lucy,
My boyfriend and I have been having on and off arguments a good few months now. It has now got me doubting our relationship. What should I do?
Hi Victoria,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Arguments are commonplace in any relationship; the real rest is how you resolve them afterwards. This is where communication is important. Arguments show your passionate side- however they are not productive in the aftermath.
Do you always resolve your disputes? If so then this could be a positive sign that you are good communicators with one another and can undo what has flared up out of your control. If not and you both let things linger- these can become much bigger issues in the long term. They might build up one on top of the other for a time and then you might not know what you are actually arguing over as there are so many things that need to be addressed.
Perhaps talk to him about how the arguing is making you feel about the relationship and ask him if he feels the same. If you love each other and are committed to making things work then perhaps some changes need to take place. A promise, maybe, that every time you have a disagreement you talk about it afterwards, without shouting and saying things you don’t necessarily mean. If both of you have an appreciation of where the other is coming from it can help to diffuse the situation.
That said, if it turns into an all consuming thing then it could indicate that you are not right for each other. If it becomes a real effort and consumes all of your time together, it might be time to call things a day.
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