Fran asks :
Hi Lucy,
My husband and I have been together since we were 16 and we're now 24. We've been married for just over 2 years and have a 2 year old daughter. Since having our daughter I've felt differently about us together. I know I don't love him, or not as much as he loves me anyway, but I don't feel like I can divorce him for the sake of our daughter. We don't argue but we don't behave like a couple anymore. He works away for weeks at a time so we don't see each
Our Reply
Hi Fran,
It sounds like the distance is causing not just a physical space between you but also an emotional one too. If you are feeling this way it is likely that he is affected from your lack of contact too. Perhaps next time he is home ask to talk with him about how your feelings have changed and discuss why this might be.
It seems that you are all each other have known and there might be a curiosity there as to what or who else is out there for each of you. If you are not arguing, then it could just be that there is still a mutual respect and friendship there but the love has changed into something of a more platonic nature.
Could you suggest some couples counselling to him? You have dedicated a lot of your lives to one another- might it be worth giving it one more try? Counselling might bring up something that you have not thought about before or an avenue you could try to improve your situation.
Could it be that you have channelled all your energies into your daughter and work and forgotten how to be a couple? Maybe that memory just needs to be brought to the forefront again so you can rediscover what it was that brought you together in the first place.
tagged in Love Divorce Husband daughter married yin and yang agony aunt
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