Hi Ellie,

It can be difficult when you know people can hear what you are up to.

Why not book a hotel every few weeks for some time and pressure away from the folks? That way you can be as noisy as you like and take the opportunity to try new things. Dressing up in sexy lingerie, sex toys, role play- there are so many things you could try.

If sex ‘was your thing’ there is no reason why you can’t get that spark back, it just takes a bit of imagination and forethought.

If you both think it’s boring then that is a potentially a better position to be in than if it was only one of you. If one was dissatisfied but the other believed that everything was fine- that could have caused hurt feelings.At least you are both on the same page. 

Just a reminder of how it used to be between you both might be what you need. Perhaps talk to each other about fantasies and things you would like to try and incorporate these into your sexual play.

That said; being in someone else’s house can also act as an aphrodisiac if you let it- having to do things to each other quickly and quietly so no-one finds out can be a huge turn on.

You could try some bondage tape to keep each other quiet while you go upstairs for some impromptu oral sex for instance. Maybe try not to give up on having a sexual relationship while you are staying at each other’s houses as you might be waiting a while before you feel you can have sex. You could find new ways of getting each other off that are sneakier than rattling the bedpost!