Gugu asks :
Hi Lucy,
I'm in a relationship with a married man, it’s been a year and we have a 2 month old baby. His wife filed for divorce 2 years ago and they have been separated ever since. I've asked him several times to pursue the divorce and he keeps saying that the lawyers are expensive. That worries me whether he will ever leave his wife and commit with me or not. Please help I need some advice whether to leave him or not.
Hi Guru,
Agony Aunts on Female First
It’s is true, divorce lawyers are expensive and he might not be in a position to pay for one right now, with a new born baby to support.
If you are feeling insecure, have you talked to him about other forms of commitment- do you live together? If not, could that be a suggestion to give him the opportunity to show that he sees a future with you?
If they have been separated ever since then perhaps that shows that he doesn’t want to get back with her. If he had been yon yo-yoing between you both then that might have been a sign he was not over her. You have not mentioned that he has so maybe he does want to cut all ties, but the money is the only thing stopping him.
Could you sit down and work out a plan to save up enough money to see the divorce through? He may not think he has enough money, however with a little negotiation in your monthly bills maybe you could put something by to go towards the divorce fund.
Perhaps try to work with him on this and you might find that it happens a lot sooner than you anticipated.
tagged in Divorce Relationship Baby married wife yin and yang agony aunt
Need Help?
If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name.