Maddy asks :

Hi Lucy,

I'm 21 year old woman whose driven to commit to living life to the fullest, aka, awesome part-time job, studying in university, and developing to make a future for myself, my problem, my boyfriend whose 22 is happy the way he is. He's never truly been exposed to the harsh points of reality as a child like I did, (his parents protect him and cover him up in bubble-wrap so to speak) we both had to hear second-hand about his mother's pace-maker for her heart, that was three weeks after two operations!) Not only that, being his first lover, I give him the second chances that his is still learning about love and relationships. But when I ask for his opinions or anything he's too scared to say 'no' or disagree with me; so he won't hurt my feelings. He never confident in things to do as over bearing crowds even walking down the street to our local town is frighten for him. when I want to commit to a future of my graduating and moving our relationship to the next level, he pales! he fears babies, children, marriage, but I'm not asking that (at least till ten years later maybe) but the idea of me moving out of my parent’s house and him not doing the same with me, it just, gets me down. I feel like I am in love with the 19 year old boy I meet back then and not the quiet and dependable man he is now. We both have good jobs to pay our way in life, so that's not an issue, when he does behave more like a guy who can think for himself (without his parents) and when he calls the decision (rarely) I get so proud of him, thinking "yes! there's the man I fell for!" but in the nearly four years of our relationship, it has only happened twice. I think his parents offer us holidays and loads of luxury things as a way of keeping things happy, but this may have gone over the mark of teasing "you could babysit him". Sure his health of epilepsy makes them worry he'll go and have a seizure with no one around, but honestly he's epilepsy isn't the worst case I've heard. It’s every two years, or longer, so it's controlled, so why can't they see him as an independent person? No matter how hard I've tried, there's always an excuse, I love him, but not as I once use too. Being a young woman I want a man to go and explore life, not hide away. How can I make him see this, or am I truly too late like my mother said "he's a creature of habit that will never change, no matter how sweet and kind he is." I need help, is he too much of a boy because I rarely see a man before me.