Steve asks :

Hi Lucy,

I was seeing a girl over the summer and things moved quickly and by October she said she was pregnant. I later found out this was a lie and things ended and realised she had lies about other things and realised she was a bit of a game player. Some of my belongings are still at hers and she doesn’t seem to want to make arrangements to give them back. Anytime I try contacting her I get blanked or she will just beat around the bush. Why won’t she just give me my stuff back? She has said its best being over for good and she has moved on. I find this highly frustrating as I’ve been trying to make arrangements for the past 5/6 weeks now and I do not understand why she won’t just give me my stuff and that can be it.

 

Hi Steve,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

Break ups can make people do the strangest of things in order to get back at or get some attention from their ex. Perhaps she is doing this to provoke a reaction from you or because she says she is over you but really isn’t and your belongings have sentimental value. If she gives you your things back that is the last time you will likely see each other or have any contact and it might be hard for her to let go.

Either way, it is your stuff, so perhaps you could get in touch with one of her friends or family members and try and arrange to get your things back through them. It is a reasonable request so even if things did end badly with everyone, then they might help you out one last time.

If the items are not very important to you and you are asking for them back out of principle, then perhaps it might be wise to leave them in her hands. If you are not having any luck by contacting her then perhaps it’s best to leave it alone and replace the things that she has.

If your belongings are very important to you then maybe you could make a list and ask her to post them or leave them at one of your friends or family members’ houses if she doesn’t want to see you? Maybe she is afraid to see you if it’s still too painful for her and that is why she is putting off not giving you your things back. By arranging it through other people this might help encourage her to make a move.


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