Littlemiss asks :
Hi Lucy,
Basically I've been going out with this guy for 6 months now (our older sisters are best friends that's how we met) he's told his sister things are going great but we literally never talk. We talk once a week and maybe see each other once every 3 weeks. When we see each other it's amazing but the rest if the time I just end up being angry about how little we talk. I've tried saying that to him but I don't want to appear needy. Also my best friend that's a guy , talks to me non-stop , he's always been there for me and doesn't care what I look like , he even held my hair back when I got sick , where as I couldn't imagine my boyfriend being the same as he's commented on how much better I look with make-up etc....I found out from my best-friend friend , that he's liked me and has for a long time , and I really don't know what to do , I spoke to him and he was really understanding and said yes I do like you but I understand the fact you've got a boyfriend as long as he treats you well....I really don't know what to do because at the moment it seems like my best friend everything my boyfriend’s not , but do I just want what I can't have
Our Reply
Hi Littlemiss,
Taking your friend out of the equation- one of the most important things in every relationship is communication. If you can’t talk about your feelings in general or for one another this can be a big problem in future. Couples need to vent their concerns as this helps to better the relationship and iron out any wrinkles before they become reason for resentment and anger later down the line.
When one person fills a gap in your relationship it is natural to gravitate towards them so your emotions are being recognised and your feelings are being acknowledged.
By putting pressure on your partner to talk this can go in the opposite direction as you are both more conscious of the problem. The last thing you might need is it to be forced into talking with your partner when you don’t feel like it and vice versa.
That said you partner should be someone you can not only talk to but also be ‘normal’ with. You can’t be made up and look great all the time- people need time to relax and with that comes less of a focus on appearance. If someone can love you when you look your best and your worst then this is vital in any relationship. A good couple should be supportive in the bad times and relish in the good.
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