When we're going through heartbreak, it can feel like no one else gets it. That no one else can truly understand the turmoil or comprehend how we're really feeling.
Do they want to know too much?
When it comes to parents offering guidance or advice, this can sometimes be hard to take too. It can be frustrating, seem completely unhelpful or not what you want to hear at all. They might take the approach of being too upbeat, trying to convince you that everything happens for a reason, that you're far too good for your ex anyway or that time is a healer. There might be other pearls of wisdom in there too of course depending on your relationship with your parents.
The thing is, whether the advice your parents give you is helpful to you or not, it's important to keep in mind that they too, will have likely being heartbroken in their life at some point. The pain of heartbreak is timeless. They get it and will only be trying to help you in the best way they know how. Parents want to protect their children and so their advice might be geared more towards this (which again, might not be particularly helpful in the midst of being heartbroken!) but this is just natural and so appreciate that whilst you are emotionally vulnerable, having someone to nurture and protect you is also what you need right now, even if you might not be completely aware of it.
I think the best way to try and help them understand you is to talk to them as open and honestly as you can (again, depending on the relationship you have with your folks). Not to lash out or tell them 'they don't get it' but to make how you are feeling clear whilst expressing your gratitude at their support. Explain that you need to handle things in your own time but that you appreciate their advice and how they are trying to be there for you.
Remember too that your parents have age and wisdom on their side. No, they might not understand the ins and outs of your relationship with your ex but they will likely have a better handle on what you are feeling than you think. Don't dismiss what they say, listen and allow them to share their own experiences. Ask for their advice and what they think. The more you ask for guidance the more they will probably offer you something that you can genuinely relate to. You might not necessarily agree with it, but it creates a more neutral basis and environment for them to offer you advice as opposed to just telling you what to do or how to feel.
tagged in Parents