Talking Dirty

Many couples enjoy sex talk as part of their flirting and love making, phone sex lines prove this is a common desire among men, and many people "dirty talk" comes easy.

If you are in a relationship where you have many things in common, you each love, sex and sexuality, physically and mentally, you are compatible both in the bedroom and out, with the exception of one thing.

A small thing, a few words really, he asks you to talk dirty. You want very much to be able to do for him, but every time he asks for it, you freeze, with a head full of thoughts you are unable to come out with any words to speak. If you find yourself in this position don’t panic.

Talking dirty doesn't have to be dirty.

Certainly there are plenty of very nasty things you can say using more sensual and sexual phrasing without using words that would offend you. Although you should throw in a nicely placed "c**k" or "c**t" or "t**" occasionally, men seem to like 'body parts' and the nasty words for them. Too many clinical sounding terms for body parts may be a turn off.

According to men, "It's not what you say, but how you say it." Focus your mind on how much you enjoy sex with him, how your body tingles with excitement when he touches you, and how aroused you get when you give him pleasure. Now describe all of this to him. "I like to run my hands along your thighs, would you like me to......" or "I love the feeling of your c** growing hard in my hand. You make me so wet and aroused."

If you feel you won't be able to say it with a straight face, or if seeing him watch you speak makes you nervous, try whispering it breathlessly in his ear. Or use a low, sexy voice and brush your lips across his belly as you say it. You could also listen to a phone sex line but beware these tend to cost £1.50 per minute and you can soon rack up a large phone bill to pick up some tips.

Include him in the conversation. "Do you like it when I touch myself here?" "I just love to rub your blank, may I touch you there?" "I'm so hot for you, tell me how you want me to touch you." Most of the trouble is thinking of what to say. Practice, practice, practice. You can copy text from a book or from an adult film, just reading an adult story aloud to your lover is, to some, very steamy foreplay. Write out ahead of time some things you might say, and practice saying them.

Things that sound silly or uncomfortable the first time you say it, will seem quite normal by the 50th repetition. Try role play, taking on specific role say nurse, or maybe a maid may help create the mood, dress up in one of those sexy nurses uniforms you will soon be immersed in the role. Let him know what you are going to do to him, and while you are pleasing him describe all of your actions and how they are arousing you. Say something like, "Running my tongue along your thigh like this gets me really hot and makes me want to suck your c***.") Men love to hear how much they excite you and how they arouse your body.

Dirty Talk: So give him an ego boost.

And remember, sex talk is not just for during sex, try catching him off guard, and whisper something like, "Later I'd like to kiss and nibble your neck and trace my tongue along your sexy chest." This sort of foreplay will definitely set his heart racing with anticipation and will have the desired effect in the trouser region. If you just don’t have the courage to talk dirty to him don’t worry there are other ways to produce the same effects. Your positive physical response in bed will still mean as much to him as your words. When between the sheets, writhe with him, moan often and loudly, and try to toss in a few one-liners such as "Oh, that's good!" and "I love to feel you inside me".

You could also try ringing him up at work and talking dirty to him it will be easier as it’s not face to face. Say: When you're at your staff meeting this afternoon, imagine that I am hiding under the table. And while your boss is expounding about the new sales plan for your company, I'll be unzipping your pants and softly and gently sucking on your c***."

Remember he has the rest of the day to imagine, and he cannot do anything about it. But just think how turned on he will be when he arrives home and finds you dressed sexily ready for action. Remember anticipation, the mind, and being kept waiting all add to the pleasure.