But in many cases the kisses used in electronic communications are misconstrued.
Relationships on Female First
Both men and women wrongly assume that a message ending in an X is a come-on, when, in fact, a work colleague is merely being friendly.
The results give a valuable insight into dating etiquette in the electronic age – and how X’s are being used to instigate sex.
The dating website WhatsYourPrice.com polled 1,000 British members on the significance of X’s in emails.
It found:
- 55% of women and 60% of men who had had an affair at work admitted it had been initially sparked by X’s in messages.
- 86% of women and 62% of men send messages ending in X’s routinely to loved ones and ordinary colleagues.
- 40% of women and 10% of men put X’s in emails to their boss.
- 35% of women and 25% of men said that they had sent messages X’s which had been wrongly seen as sexual by the recipient.
- 90% of women and 85% of men said that if they received a message with an X on it before a first date then the possibility of intimacy increases.
Denise McCallum, 28, from North London, said that the whole issue of putting X’s on texts and emails was a crucial signal on the dating scene.
She said: “Of course I use X’s to show a guy I am keen. The more X’s, the keener I am. Everyone these days is putting X’s on their emails.
“Emails and texts allow you to become much more intimate with a person than you would be either in person or on the phone.
“And the use of an X is a crucial way of trying to get the relationship on a more intimate footing than merely friendship.
“Whereas with girlfriend I will put X’s on texts or emails to just be friendly, I know from experience that men are much more calculating and will often use a X to try to instigate sex.
“I am great at working out when an X is merely someone being friendly and when an X means they want sex.
“I think men are less good at picking up these signals. They can often get the wrong end of the stick.
“What is absolutely true is that almost all office lotharios use X’s liberally in emails and texts. It is a crucial part of their armoury.
“They sprinkle their texts and emails with kisses all the time – if you throw enough mud at a wall, some of it sticks,” she added.
Denise, who has dated several men on WhatsYourPrice, said it’s not just X’s which are used to establish intimacy.
She said: “You have even have the Prime Minister ending his emails in LOL, thinking it means Lots of Love. The internet is a big short-cut to intimacy. There are all sorts of new ways to show someone that you attracted to them.”
While most British people are fairly relaxed about using X’s in emails, this is not the case elsewhere in the world.
In America, a kiss is normally only used in a message to a loved one or family member.
Dating expert Helen Croydon said: “Because email is still a relatively new form of communication, people are still not sure how to interpret X’s.
“Clearly they are a great way of quickly establishing intimacy when you are dating.
“I never put an X in a professional email. To me that would be girlie and dipsy. For that reason, if I get one back from a man I immediately see that as flirtatious.
“Women often exchange X’s with friends – that is simple way of reaffirming friendship and establishing trust.
“Women who receive X’s on an email from man will almost always interpret this as flirtation, unless the man is gay,” she added.
WhatsYourPrice founder Brandon Wade said: “We are learning so much about the whole etiquette of dating through the internet.
“It allows couples to establish intimacy much more quickly and freely express exactly what they want. That has to be a good thing.
“Most women want a generous partner who will treat them like a lady and show them a good time. If putting an X at the end of an email helps them to achieve that then that has to be a good thing,” he said.
WhatsYourPrice has pioneered a new form of dating where generous people – male or female – will pay for the chance to go on a date.