A recent survey by www.selectcarleasing.co.uk has uncovered some hilarious and quite awful first date stories- here are six to make your toes curl ahead of Valentine’s Day.

Relationships on Female First

Relationships on Female First

Dog Pee – Amanda, Ipswich.

I was picked up by my date and when I opened the door I was welcomed by his dog ‘frank’ and it turned out that I had to have his dog sit on my knee as he was dropping it off at his ex-wife’s house. On the way, how do I put this politely, it decided it needed the loo and proceeded to wee all over me! I ended up having to lend some trousers from his ex. The guy didn’t last but now I’m friends with his ex!

Mum’s The Word – Liz, Essex.

I was on my 3rd date with a really nice guy. He picked me up this time and as I opened the car door, his mother, who I’d never met before, was in the front seat. So I had to sit in the back. With my legs crushed up because she had the seat so far back. We were just going to be dropping her off at her friend’s house on the way to the restaurant. But, as we set off, her first words to me were “So have you had many boyfriends Linda?” Apart from that horrific question, which I didn’t know how to answer, my name is Liz. She then went on to tell me that her son had only had one previous girlfriend who was an “absolute angel”. And he didn’t even seem embarrassed. And he didn’t correct her on my name. They laughed about it and they started talking about this ex-girlfriend for the next ten minutes while I sat there like an idiot. The night went downhill from there really and there was no 4th date.

Bringing The Handcuffs Out – Beth, Steatham.

I’d already had a couple of dates with this guy and he seemed pretty sound. I knew he was a little wild but figured it was all bravado. This was the first time he’d picked me up before and it was a pretty fancy car. For a few minutes, it was fine, but he obviously thought I’d be impressed with some of his maneuvers, like undertaking on a hardshoulder and flying through a red light.  Every time he did something stupid he looked at me like I was expected to jump on him while he was driving. Luckily for me the Police stopped him and ended up putting him in handcuffs, it turned out he’d lost his license a year ago.

Sweaty Betty – Scarlet, York.

I was dead excited for a date with this lad I’d met in a club. He said he worked in banking and had 3 houses and a really flash Lamborghini. It was summer and I wanted to impress so I’d bought a cute playsuit that really showed off my legs. Anyway, he pulled up outside my house in this amazing car and I could see all the neighbours peeping through the windows and checking us out. He went to open the car door for me but as I was about to get in he stopped me and went, “hang on”, and he looked me up and down and ran back round to the driver’s side. He came back with some Tesco bags and put them on my seat. A couple of the neighbours had come out by that point to “water the flowers”. Clearly they were having a good neb. But they were near enough that when he then said “Sit on those bags cos girls get a bit sweaty down there – especially in an outfit like that”, they heard it all.

Nosebleed – Stephanie, Leeds.

We were driving to the restaurant and all of a sudden he had the worst nosebleed I’ve ever seen! We had to pull over on the motorway whilst he tried to stop the bleeding and as I gave him some tissue that I had in my bag he sneezed and my lovely yellow dress was pebble dashed in blood and snots. I told him we should go back to his so his mum could see to it and when we got there I immediately called a taxi and got the hell out of there. I feel bad but I still haven’t returned any of his phone calls.

A Date & A Drive Through – Hayley, Neath.

Met this guy through a dating site and he seemed well funny, if a tad younger than I normally go for.  After he pestered me for a little while I let him take me out on a date. I got myself dressed up and he met me near my house in a proper racer boy car with go faster stripes on the side. It started pretty badly when I had to move empty crisp packets off the seat before I sat down in the leftover crumbs. I assumed he was joking when he said he’d take me to McDonalds, but 15 mins later I’m eating chicken nuggets in the car park as he said ‘it’s more private than the restaurant’.  By the time he dropped me back my dress was covered in bits of crisp and my hair stank of his Big Mac. In fairness to him though, he did pay. 


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