Do you want to be with your friend?
Our readers are full of questions for our experts so dating and relationship expert Hayley Quinn is in the hot-seat to answer today’s reader dilemma!
Female First’s discussion board reader asks:
‘Is there a way out of the friend zone, or is it much like the phantom zone and once in there you are trapped inside forever?’
Hayley says:
By asking if there's a way out of the friend zone you forget the only sure fire way to escape it. Friend zones aren't things that just happen to people: we choose to inhabit them because we're not comfortable with being sexual with the person we like.
I know what you're thinking! That it's not your choice. You fancied them; but they only saw you as a friend. So I want you to think back; when you first met the person you liked did you tell them straight that you found them sexy?
Did you ask them out on a date-date, or did you choose to get to know them better as a friend/ co-worker/ networking contact first? Then sat back and hoped they would somehow see how awesome you are and choose you?
That's like leading your life as if it's the X Factor - not smart.
Instead it's way more powerful to state what you want; if the other person isn't on the same page you have to let them know that you're ok to be their friend, but you're still going to fancy them.
And if you're not happy being their friend then you need to choose to draw a line on that relationship; rather than waiting around in case they change their mind. When you act this powerfully, when you choose to be sexy, when you get ok to state what you want then you'll find your way out of the friend zone forever.
So it's 100% your choice how long you stay trapped inside it
www.hayleyquinn.com
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