Patience
As it’s Ash Wednesday, we thought we would look into the issue of couples where one is religious and one is an atheist.
In partnerships where one is religious and the other is not, it can be impossible for some to navigate around, however for others- they learn to live with it and respect that they will never be on the same page when it comes to their beliefs. We take a look ways in which couples can get through these challenges and still come out at the other end from both sides of the coin.
Know your own mind- If you are passionate about your religious beliefs then you should not be swayed by your partner’s differing views, but similarly you should not try to sway them either if they don’t coincide. Stick with what you feel strongly about and then there is no room for confusion. Consistency is key here or people might lose respect for you.
Be prepared to go it alone- You might have attend certain things alone at religious times of year such as go to church or observe a fast- your partner may come for your sake, however they may feel it is hypocritical of them to do so. Try to find solace in sharing your experiences and events with other people of the same beliefs as you so you have support and don’t feel resentful of their absence.
Talk to each other- You may not agree on certain aspects of your belief systems but you both need to be prepared to listen to the other’s point of view. While creating a challenging conversation- you do not want it to turn into a full blown argument. Agree to disagree as it were, there is no point forcing a point- much better to talk it through and accept that you might never be sing from the same hymn sheet.
Don’t mock them- It is not respectful to do this publicly over any subject to your partner, but more so over something that is already potentially controversial in your relationship if handled wrongly. Let them speak for themselves and save any opposition you might have for home, as your reaction might be a knee jerk one- take some time to think before you comment.
Talk about the future- If you get married will you have two separate ceremonies so everyone feels catered for? If you have children- how will they be raised? How will you negotiate important dates in the calendar such as Christmas and Easter for example? Better to know early on in the relationship than to find that you disagree strongly about how you will define the day. Plan ahead and you will know where and when you can plan other things in to your joint lives that don't impact on significant times.
Be mindful- Every person is a product of their beliefs and upbringing, so if they act in a way that you would not have or that surprises you, take a step back and think what about their motivation was. Things make more sense with an eagle eye viewpoint, rather than just your own.