Which one are you in?
eHarmony has found that there are five distinct stages of love; ‘butterflies’, ‘building’, ‘assimilation’, ‘honesty’ and ‘stability’.
Butterflies- This is a common description of being with a new partner and is marked by intense infatuation and sexual attraction which leads to lack of productivity and weight loss.
The reason for this is that both men and women in the initial dating stages create more of the sex hormones oestrogen and testosterone, which inevitably leads to a heightened libido.
Jemima Wade, spokesperson for eHarmony.co.uk, said: “Here at eHarmony, we’re responsible for tens of thousands of relationships and millions of ‘butterfly’ moments every year as a result of getting to know both the heads and hearts of our members.”
Building- This is where couples learn more about one another as they spend more time in each other’s company. At this stage the body releases neurochemicals or monoamines that increase heart rate and pleasure which mimic the effects of Class A drugs.
At this stage, the relationship dominates their thoughts and they find it difficult to concentrate on other people and activities. They lose sleep and their attention span is reduced.
Assimilation- This is the point where people become a little more critical of their relationship and decide of its right for them. They look long term and try to figure out if they feel it’s going to work in the future. Consequently they form boundaries and behaviours that the deem to be acceptable and so they become more stressed.
Honesty- This is where all of the rose tinted glasses are removed and people start to relax around their partner. This allows couples to let their guards down so they can form a deeper connection with one another. People are more doubtful at this point and also feel vulnerable.
Stability- This is where the relationship is at its deepest and a lot of couples feel happiest at this stage. The hormone vasopressin is released during orgasm which intensifies the perceived attachment.
Although these stages are clearly marked, they are all dependent on the individual as events that occur during a couple’s courtship can affect how slowly or quickly they enter these phases.
An example might be if the couple consciously decides to introduce exciting date nights- feelings of butterflies can reemerge as the pair feel like they have wound the clock back and are just starting out again. Couples who have a child return to the assimilation stage as they determine how a new arrival will affect their day to day life. 
eHarmony psychologist Dr Linda Papadopoulos, who assisted with the study, comments: “Shaped via a mixture of physical and emotional indicators, it’s fascinating to note that this one core emotion can be broken down into such distinct stages. What’s more, each stage may be relived and recaptured as couples grow into a relationship, and face different life challenges together.”
tagged in Partner Couples Relationship