Remember the old saying- 'you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar?' What this means is that you'll get much further with someone through flattery and politeness than you will by making demands and accusations. We take a look at how this translates to your relationships.
Honey is the aim of the game!
Men and women think in very different ways- what might be obvious to a woman is not to a man and vice versa, so it's unfair to make demands of your partner when they don't have the same thought processes. You are essentially punishing them for something they have no idea they've done wrong.
Here are some top tips to sweeten things up before they go sour:
Assume he wants to make you happy- He may not show it in the same way you would but in his own special way he wants to please you. It's important to accept that he will execute this differently, but he's always trying.
If you desperately want something- tell him- Not while he's distracted by work, the TV or a digital device. Catch him at a time when he's most engaged and tell him what it is you want. Then trust him to do something about it in his own time and way and don't keep a check on his progress. When he comes close to doing something you want- praise him- This positive reinforcement will make him gravitate towards it again because men like to do things that make them feel food and avoid the things that don't. He will remember how happy it made you and put two and two together.
If he does something you don't like- Ignore the behaviour. If it scares you then of course tell him but if it doesn't and you simply dislike it- pretend it never happened. If you give it your attention it may happen again.
When you're upset- Tell him why you feel that way rather than just blaming him for everything. Often when you talk it through and he gives his side, it will open you up to another perspective and give you greater clarity.
Don't make every niggle a big thing- Learn that some things really don't matter that much- then when the bigger stuff happens it has more impact. Otherwise it's just 'the boy who cried wolf' and the more important issues in you relationship will become diluted.
tagged in relationships