You've just got through a dark and dismal January when it seems like the whole world crawls into their solitary caves, to focus on detoxing, paying off Christmas debt and recovering from yet another head cold. For single men and women, there is one hurdle yet to overcome before we can all celebrate the early onset of spring (daffodils are already in bloom!) - the dreaded Valentine's Day. Fear not - here's our tops tips on how to make Valentine's a success when you're single:
Valentine's Day on Female First
Celebrate your single status - There are too many references in the media to single being a sign of weakness or failure. I don't agree! I for one had some of the best experiences in my life when I was single. It's a time for spontaneity, independence and doing what YOU want to do, when you want to do it. Put this freedom to good use on 14th by exploring a new city, visiting friends, or simply going on a shopping spree.
Treat yourself - Every year in the UK around £1.3 billion is spent on cards, chocolates, and other Valentine's gifts. Be thankful that you don't have to buy your fella a teddy bear holding a heart with "I love you" embroidered in the middle. Instead, spend the money on yourself - a gesture to say "I love ME!".
Reflect on what you want in a partner - Most of you, even if you are happy being single at the moment, will eventually want to meet someone. So rather than sitting back and waiting for Divine intervention, think about what you really want in a partner. Use this simple exercise I use with my matchmaking clients: write down everything that attracted you to each of your exes, and also the issues that led to the relationship breaking down. This will help you to recognise 5 must and must not traits to seek in a future partner. Once you have this in your conscious thought, you are more likely to turn your wish list into reality.
Put a plan in place to find Mr Right - once you have completed point 3, you need to think about how/where you are going to find this incredible man. There are lots of ways to find a partner, either organically (e.g. taking up a new hobby, or buy a dog to take to the park!), or through professional dating services. If you choose the latter, you'll need to spend time researching the best option for you, on a very broad spectrum of services, ranging from online dating Apps (Tinder and the like), right up to very exclusive, personal matchmaking services, such as Vida Consultancy.
Boycott the commercialisation of Valentine's Day - Valentine's Day has historical links to Christianity, folk traditions, and Geoffrey Chaucer, then in the 18th Century England (yes that's right, England UK) developed the commercialisation of Valentine's Day, a custom that spread around the world. So us Brits are responsible for the heart shaped helium balloons that bellow out of gift shops each February. Not one of our best efforts. Perhaps it is now time for us, as a nation, to make and stand and boycott this money-spinning nonsense?!
Go party! - If you're more romantic than radical, then rather than boycott February 14th, choose to embrace it by attending one of the thousands of events designed for singles all over the country. During this weekend, it should be easier to spot who else in single, making your search that bit easier.
Plug on the heart strings of your loved-up friends - everyone knows someone who is single and this will include your network of trusted friends. In fact dating Apps such as MyMateYourDate have built their business on the knowledge that your true love could be a friend of a friend. You could sign up to this app or go straight to the source and ask your friends, assertively, to play matchmaker and find you a date.
Go altruistic and spread the love - rather than cry into your pillow because you might not get a MoonPig card from a mystery admirer, concentrate on giving love instead by volunteering during Valentine's weekend for a local charity. Who knows, maybe Karma will bring you good fortune, in the form of a kind, gorgeous guy who is part of your volunteer group! Think positively, and good things will happen to you.
Rachel is a chartered psychologist and the Founder and Managing Director of the matchmaking agency The Vida Consultancy www.thevidaconsultancy.com.
tagged in Valentine's Day