Warning: contains strong language- viewer discretion advised.
If only...
What if break ups were civil affairs that leave you ready for your new single life rather than pining and hating your ex for all eternity? If only…
What if…
You both want the same thing at the same time- You both meet up to talk and come out with it- you are both in the same place and neither of you is surprised. Hurrah!
You admit your faults- 'It would have made our time together ten times worse if you had been as miserable as me!'
You both agree that together you were the worst couple of all time- And are able to laugh at your sheer ignorance of that fact.
You compare yourself to the worst celebrity couples of all time-Break ups happen even to the richest and prettiest of people- why should you feel bad about it?
You reveal that you were never in love with them- You just thought you were-at least you tried.
You embrace your new found freedom- Commitment? Pah! Being tied down-forget about it! Responsibilities- no way.
You offer a rebound person- So they don't feel bad about the lack of sex- you offer to set them up with someone who has always thought they were hot. And brag about all the things they do or have that are better than you.
You both delete naked pics of each other- Because you respect each other's right to keep your private parts private.
You return each other's stuff- They didn't cheat on you; you both did this whole thing mutually- so why not give them access to their things?
You have broken up sex- Well why not? It would be rude not to.
We can dream…