Anna asks :
I have a strange case for you, I cannot find anything on the internet to help me so I thought I would ask an expert. I have always been able to orgasm clitorally but never have vaginally.
Every time I attempt to orgasm vaginally using my fingers or sometimes my boyfriend’s penis, I end up ejaculating a lot but without having an orgasm. I have come to terms with ejaculating so am not uncomfortable with it and my boyfriend loves it, however I am getting increasingly frustrated that I cannot climax at the same time.
It can take between 30 seconds to a minute of manual stimulation to make me ejaculate and after, if the stimulation continues, I ejaculate again, and again, and again with about 2 - 3 minutes in between.
It seems impossible to make me orgasm that way! Am I going to be stuck like this forever? I cannot find any other case like mine and it is making me feel quite upset!
Yin replies
You’ve raised more than one issue here - the difficulty reaching orgasm vaginally, the imcompatibility between you and your boyfriend and the fact that it’s upsetting you. It’s no good pursuing bedroom antics that only do it for him and leave you feeling abnormal or unsatisfied.
Having said that, simultaneous climaxing isn’t guaranteed for anyone. You’re not the first woman to be confronted with this problem - there are many theories surrounding the difference between types of orgasm but most experts still find it baffling, which is why you have probably struggled to find an answer.
Most women need clitoral stimulation in order to climax and so maybe, the position that you are in when you have intercourse needs to be such that there is maximum contact with your clitoris.
It needs to be constantly stimulated by being either pulled down or rubbed by part of your boyfriend’s torso - and you need to try to get the speed matched to whatever it is during manual stimulation.
Some women say that they only have an orgasm when their G-spot, on the front vaginal wall, is stimulated - but have you explored that and worked with different positions?
It might take a lot of practice but surely that adds to the fun? Above all, remember you aren’t abnormal.
Yang replies
The important thing here is for you to remember that you ARE having orgasms, clitorally, but at least you’re having them - and it sounds like you’re capable of having multiple orgasms like this.
Come on, don’t make all those women out there who can’t even achieve that feel jealous! It sounds like you can have them reliably and when you want them - some women can always have vaginal orgasms but never clitoral ones.
Simultaneous orgasms are quite uncommon and it’s probably Hollywood’s fault for making you think you’re abnormal. You aren’t, so just enjoy the fact that you are having SOME orgasms!
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