Caoimhe asks :
I met this guy at a 21st a month ago, I really liked him from the moment I saw him and when we hooked up I knew that I had to see him the next day. I don't get this feeling with everyone so I was delighted to find someone that I actually really like. I've been seeing him just over a month now and all was going perfectly until last week. He sometimes won't reply to text messages mid-conversation, doesn't have a problem with seeing me just once a week and doesn't make an effort to communicate like he used to. What should I do? I don't want to loose him cause I like him so much but it's really frustrating the way he's acting. I said to him that things weren't good and his answer was "ahh it's grand I was just reallly busy". Am I taking his behaviour too seriously? Or am I fooling myself? Looking forward to hearing your advice!
Yin replies
Okay, so you’re not the sort of girl who’ll fall for anyone, so you’re probably really frustrated now that this one guy you do like is going a bit distant on you. It’s typical isn’t it - the one thing you have to bear in mind is that you could love him with all your heart, but it wouldn’t automatically mean he felt the same about you.
When we have really strong feelings for someone, we almost project that on to the person and it can be a bit of a let down if you don’t get the same intensity back. What does your gut instinct tell you?
If you’re wondering whether you’re fooling yourself, there’s a good chance your little inner voice knows you well enough to see what you’re really satisfied with in a relationship - and chances are, he’s not going to give you enough of what you want.
So, ignore your inner voice at great cost. It could mean you waste time on someone who’d just not up for the sort of closeness and intimacy you had hoped for. Don’t let him brush you off; if you’re not happy with him, move on.
Yang replies
Lighten up. If you carry on analyzing him like this, you’ll definitely lose him. But ask yourself if he’s in it for the same kind of relationship that you clearly want.
You want a boyfriend who’s going to be there 24/7 or at least at the end of a text when you want to chat. Guys don’t always keep up with their initial level of chat or enthusiasm but it does sound like he’s being a bit dismissive.
Watch out that he doesn’t just keep you sweet but at arm’s length not if that’s too far away for you.
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