I have a friend with benefits, is this normal?

Yin replies

Yin / Tyler

Lucy says:

So are you saying that you make out in front of your brother? Given your age and your boyfriend’s age, is this an example you want to set you a younger brother? Think about how this impacts on you but also if it impacts on others around you who are at an impressionable age. If you have been friends since you were little then this it is good that you have that foundation to work upon if you do want to take it further. Usually the term ‘friends with benefits’ applies to friends having sex with one another. Remember that if you do have sex, then you are underage by law, so wait until you are of age to do this.

Are you telling your parents that you are ‘friends with benefits’ or that you want to date this guy? If you do tell them that you are being ‘friends with benefits’, it is likely that they would not approve given your age. If you do tell your parents that you are going out, you do have the advantage that they have known your friend for a while, so they will have already made up their mind on whether they think he is suitable or not. This might also work to your disadvantage. Friends with benefits is becoming more normal amongst older women and men who find that their careers dictate less time to devote to relationships and so this fulfils their sexual needs without any extra responsibility. It is important in this situation that one does not get hurt, If you are fine with being friends with benefits, then keep it this way, but if one of you wants more or will want more this could end in tears. Do not get forced into anything that you are not ready for or that you don’t want.

Yang replies

Yang / Lydia

Cameron says:

Is this normal? Yeah, of course it is. You’re going through an age when you’re going to be developing feelings for people you might not have before. You’re not ‘friends with benefits’ though and that’s only something you should not attempt until you’re in your twenties at least, when you’ve emotionally matured enough. Instead, why don’t the two of you try going on a couple of dates. Nothing major, but it’s obvious you two have an attraction, so why not try that before you do anything else. That you’re families have been friends for years won’t complicate things, in fact it might help your parents deal with the fact that you’re getting ready to start dating guys.