Just cant find any one

10 May 2008

janice whitaker asks :

i am a 51 years olds woman and for the past 6 years i have been on my own i was married but i left him for a woman and was very happy but that ended 6 years ago now i cant seam to meet any one will i ever be happy with some one again i dont want to be with a man as i no i am a lesbian but just cant find any one plz help thank you

Yin replies

Of course you will be happy again. You were very brave to face up to your sexuality and leave your straight life behind and it's bound to be hard adjusting to being single again.

I do sympathise with you because trying to meet people does get harder as you get older. In your twenties you are surrounded by single people but by the time you reach your 50s most of your peers are settled down. However it's not impossible. I'd suggest you get a hobby or go and join some local groups and meet some new people- maybe not necessarily love interests but friends too. Or if you're feeling really brave then why not join a dating agency.

Yang replies

Yin is right- it's not too late to meet people. However I think you are putting too much into finding a relationship....it's not the be all and end all. You need to learn to be happy within yourself and enjoy your own company...I'm not suggesting you sit in on your own playing scrabble every night but you need to be confident enough to spend time on your own. Try going shopping by yourself and treating yourself to a new outfit at first. You could even build up to going for a meal by yourself or watching a film at the cinema on your own- trust me it can be very empowering.

I also think joining some kind of group or maybe taking a course would be great for you- not only to meet people- but also to give yourself something to work towards and somewhere to express yourself. Good luck.