Marilyn asks :
My husband is good to me but he never talks to me. I have tried but he says he is too tired and falls asleep every nite. He sleeps in the separate room for the last few years because he works nights and days. I feel alone and need just a cuuddle if we do argue we have made up. We have been married for 33 years. Tonight he is at work and he never texts, I ask him whats he's doing etc. I dont know what to do?
Yin replies
Hi Marilyn, thanks for writing in.
It sounds like your husband is working very hard, but he needs to make time for his marriage too. Perhaps you could suggest that he sleeps in the same room as you for one night a week and build it up from there. He may disturb you if he is leaving for work early, but if you tell him you don’t mind once a week just so you can sleep next to him and have a cuddle then I’m sure he will understand.
Yang replies
Most adults seek affection, even men, to reassure them that they are still in love with their partners and that they are secure in their relationship with spouse. He must miss the affection that you once shared. Try to time your conversations about being closer more appropriately. Not right before bed, but perhaps have tea at the table and have a conversation over your meal. This will hopefully target the time when he is still active and willing to listen. Right before bed, all he will be thinking about is getting some rest and the conversion will be an inconvenience, so aim for a time when you know he is the most alert.
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