Notice ME

17 September 2007

Nana asks :

Okay, so there’s this guy...I’ve known him for three years now and he’s amaziing, sweet, funny, cute, the whole nine yards-in short, everything I could want. We’re great friends, always talking and hanging out. However, he is still hung up on his ex-girlfriend (to complicate things, she’s one of my friends too-not a close friend though.). She treated him like dirt when they were dating but he wants to go back out with her. He knows I like him and he acts as though he likes me too, and all his friends agree. Yet he still says he wants to go out with her, but that changes everytime they get in a fight or something. She told him that she loves him, but only as a friend, and nothing more, and he knows nothing will ever happen, yet he STILL is hung up on her. He’s always asking me for advice about it and I’ve told him-move on and find someone who likes you and treats you right; also, I’ve said that there were reasons for the break-up with her before and they’ll just become issues again. I sincerely like this guy, a lot, and I don’t understand how to get him to realize that he could have someone who will treat him right-me.

Yin replies

This must be very hard for you to live through, when the man you want is right there, pining for another woman who treated him badly. When you have said he acts as though he likes you - in what way? I think that it may be time to realise that this man is still in love with his ex-girlfriend, and there isn't going to be a lot that you can do with it. In fairness, if you were to begin a relationship with him, I can't see it working out, not when he seems so obsessive with his ex. You need to give him time to get over her properly so that he can then move on. These things take time, and there is no point rushing him, so as much as you want him make sure that you are there for him while he gets through this time.

Yang replies

Horrible situation. He's being a fool at the minute and frankly it sounds quite pathetic. He wants to get his act together and get over her before he loses you from his life. Don't wait forever is my advice to you. Be a friend to him, but don't get too friendly because this brings added complications (I don't want to lose you as a friend etc). Dress sexy every now and again, flaunt a bit of what he could have. See how it goes. If he still shows no interest, then I wouldn't give him the time of day. As perfect as you may think he is for you, don't become desperate to have him. Move on.