Josephine asks :

I am now seeing this guy at my university although in June I had a one night stand with his best friend. Should I tell the guy before we turn into something serious?

Hi Josephine,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

Chances are he will find out eventually; if not from you then from his best friend or someone else who potentially knows. It might sound better coming from you. If you do decide to come clean it might be in your favour to downplay what happened. If you compare notes or make out that it meant something then he might feel in competition with this guy or inferior depending on how and what you tell him.

If you were not together then he might be ok with it after some time, as it could be difficult for him to date someone who has been so intimate with his best friend, at first.

He might on the other hand not be able to handle the constant thought of you two being together and decide to stay as friends.

You could tell him and see which way it goes, or you could not say anything in the hope that he doesn't find out through any other source.

The downfall of a lot of relationships is because of a secret- if you are a strong couple then you might be able to push past this. If the two things are unrelated- i.e. you were not dating your boyfriend when you slept with his best friend, then there might be no room to place blame. The situation is nevertheless awkward, so it’s might be about you talking to your boyfriend but giving him some space to talk to his friend too and see where you go from there.

 


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