Trust

geezer writes:

I was divorced 14 years ago. Lost everything, including children.

Since then have been unable to form relationship with anyone.

Cannot trust anyone.

Will I ever be normal?

Yin's Answer

I'm really sorry to hear about the pain that you must have been through, and it is completely normal and understandable that you feel unable to trust people.

Try not to compare other people to your ex-wife though. She may have hurt you in the past, but not everyone is like that.

You have had a rough deal, but don't let our ex-wife continue to ruin your life. She has done enough. Let it go.

Yang's Answer

Take things one thing at a time. Always remember that when dating someone or making friends with someone, you are in control of what information they know about you.

If you go out, talk about normal things, keep it light, don't give away anything that could potentially be amunition for someone to use against you.

As you see more of them, allow yourself to start opening up more. Just say a little bit to start with, and see how that goes.

Don't think that this person will betray you. Otherwise you are going to live a very lonely and secluded life. Trust is earned, so make people earn it - but not for too long or they will get bored.

Stop letting your ex-wife and your past control your future.