Anita asks :

Hey Lucy,

I need some advice. I have been speaking to a guy online for a little over three months now and I have never met him. He seems to be interested in meeting up with me when we speak online and we have so much in common and always have something to talk about, but the last time I tried to arrange to meet up with him we exchanged numbers and he said he couldn't make it because of work, so I thought I would text him a week later and see if he is free and he hasn't replied. I haven't spoken to him since but it is driving me mad because he is so different to the guys I meet recently I really want to meet him but he seems to have disappeared. I know he said he didn't have credit the last time we spoke but I have text him twice now and he still hasn't responded and I am too afraid to call at the risk of being a pest and I think I would be too nervous to know what to say, what do should I do :S ?

Our Reply

Hi Anita,

If he cancelled on you when meeting up then it may have been because of a genuine excuse or it could be that he is not all he says he is. People who are reluctant to meet up tend to be those who have embellished their profile or lied about something on there. It could be a different picture or lifestyle. The fact that he has not got back to you could be because he doesn’t have credit or it could be that he is worried you will pursue meeting up again. If he is different to what you think know about him already, this will put him off because you will find out the truth.

If the relationship is going to progress and he is who he says he is then you will have to talk to one another at some point, so now might be the time to be the catalyst for this. You could just tell him that you were worried about him because he hasn’t got back to you. If he doesn’t answer perhaps leave a message and then leave the ball in his court. He could contact you online if he has run out of credit so there are other means to get in touch if he wants to.

If you do decide to meet, I would suggest meeting somewhere public, so you can feel a little more secure having not met him in person before.

Good luck,

Lucy x 


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