Anonymous asks :
Hi Lucy
Nearly 7months ago I found out I was pregnant, me and my partner had only been together a year, and we were just about to move into our own place. Money was tight, and we would only have enough money to take care of ourselves. We decided it just wasn't the right time to be bringing up a baby. So after a lot of talking we decided to have it "taken care of". It was a decision I have regretted since. I had the implant put in, and I've been irregular. Every time me and my partner can be intimate with each other I don't want to. I could count on one hand the amount of times we have been since this happened. We don't talk about it, but I can tell he's not very happy with us not being intimate like we were. I've been thinking about having the implant removed to see if this helps bring back my libido. I just don't know what to do?
Our Reply
Hi Anonymous,
It sounds like you are dealing with two separate issues here that are causing the same outcome. If you haven't talked about it then perhaps it’s time to. It will be a difficult conversation if neither of you have opted to talk about it yet; however once it has become less taboo between you, then perhaps things will get better. If you feel regret then perhaps your partner does too. You might be feeling a lot of the same emotions here and therefore should be able to have sympathy for the one another’s feelings. That said; it was your body that went through the changes so it might be wise to find an outside source of help too.
Perhaps you should seek some counselling about the pregnancy. It seems like you have not dealt with this part of things as of yet and it might help to talk to a professional about it. If you are still thinking about this and as you say ‘regretting it’- then sex could be the last thing on your mind. Sex is about a physical connection but it is just as much about the psychological aspects too- if your mind is still focused on the baby then your body will follow suit.
The implant like any form of contraception can have the side effect of reducing libido. Why not pay a visit to your doctor to see about getting it removed and put on something else? Both of these facts might be contributing to your reduced libido rather than just one, so it might be best to seek help for both rather than putting all of your eggs in one basket.
Lucy x
tagged in Pregnancy Partner Baby yin and yang agony aunt
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