bee asks :
A few months ago, my boyfriend asked me to be his plus 1 to a mates wedding, it would've been my first introduction to anyone in his life - I've not met any friends or family. We've been together nearly 2 years. There was a crossover with his ex of 10 years. 2 months ago, I found a text on my bf's phone from him mate (the groom to be) asking if him and his ex fancied meeting up. So my bf hadn't told his friend about me - he assured me he would and the wedding would be fine. A week before the wedding he confesses that he still hadn't told his friend, but he found out coz he called his ex a few weeks back and was annoyed he hadn't told him sooner. He said I couldn't go coz there wasn't enough room. He also said his ex wasn't going. The wedding was over and we have worked through it. But a few nights ago, i found photos of the wedding - my bf and his ex are both there - they feature in lots of photos, always together and having a great time - at the church, dinner, dancing together in the evening. I feel really hurt. He swears he hasn't cheated on me and nothing happened but I'm hurt because I was the one who was meant to share that day with him. I dont' feel i can trust him coz he lied about her being there - he says to protect my feelings and not make me worry, but i'm still hurt. I don't know what to do.
How would he feel if you had done the same? He should have told you, yes you probably wouldn’t have liked it, but at least he was being honest with you about the situation. Now you are left wondering about his faithfulness. Trust is a big part in a relationship and if it is no longer there then it can have serious consequences for your future. He has lied to you twice now, what makes you think that you won’t do it again?
Agony Aunts on Female First
After two years he should have told people that you are together otherwise it looks like he is leading a double life. He should have shared that day with you as his plus one, not her if you are the one he wants to be with. Have you asked him why he has taken has so long to tell people that you to are an item? Why was there not enough room for you but there was for her? All of these things not match up and the fact that he has failed to be truthful to you on two separate occasions shows little respect for you or the relationship.
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