cathy asks :
i am 37 and married with 2 kids but i am in love with my best friendand have been for the last 16 yrs. before i got married my friend and i got close but nothing ever happened then she met a bloke and i married my husband but there has always been this unspoken silence between us, when we are drunk we are both very touch feely with eachother and we sometimes joke that people eill think were gay to which we both reply that we dont care. i know she feels something but by the way she says things but nothing has ever come of it. should i tell her how i feel, i am afraid of losing my friendship with her but feeling the way i do about her and living a double life is slowely killing me!
Yin replies
If you are thinking about leaving your husband for this women you need to be sure of her feelings and not just go off that way she says things. What is she just enjoys a good flirt? If you are worried about losing her friendship then there must be an element of doubt as to whether she would want to be with you if you were single. You need to talk to her ask he to be honest as you have a lot more to lose than she does.
Could it be because things have become stagnant in your own marriage that you are looking elsewhere? It may be that you are fixating on this woman because what she has to offer is more appealing than your husband right now, however with some work you could make your marriage a lot stronger.
Yang replies
Flirting and touching this woman is not fair on your husband, so the sooner you find out what this women wants from you the better and then you can make a more informed decision.
How do you know that you are in love with her? If you have not had a relationship with this woman it can be difficult to know whether these are true feelings of love, or an infatuation over forbidden fruit.
tagged in Kick Ass Friendship Husband Gay married yin and yang agony aunt
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