Hi Steph,

It sounds like your head and your heart are telling you two different things which can be very confusing when deciding what do do in your love life.

You talk of history repeating itself- this is a natural and justified concern. If he was able to cast his gaze elsewhere while you were together before there is a possibility that he might do it again. If you were hurt badly last time then it is self-preservation if you decide not to go back to him, saving yourself from these feelings bubbling up again.

If he only wants you because ‘he can’t have her’, is that how you want a repeat relationship to start? If this is the only reason that you are thinking about getting back together, then there is a lot more that you are missing out on as a foundation for a relationship. You should be the first choice for whoever you date, not second helpings.

If you do decide that getting back together is what you want, then try to do it with caution and perhaps take things slow so if he does do this to you again, you might not be as deeply into him as you were last time.