Louisa asks :
Hi Lucy,
So I was seeing this guy from university for a few months but broke it off when he told me I was his friend with benefits and our relationship was never going to be more than that. Now a few months have passed and I was on a night out last week and whilst in the club I happened to turn around and see him there looking at me. I looked away quickly but when I turned round again he was still looking. Later on in the night I saw him standing on the stairs looking around and when he caught my eye he just stared at me for ages before wondering back to his friends. He appeared behind me several times but never came to say hi or anything but I don’t get why he kept looking over but didn’t come over! Any ideas what this could mean? Thank you
Our Reply
Hi Louise,
His behaviour does sound a little confusing for you, especially when he was so resolute while you were together.
Him looking at you could mean anything. If he was drunk then I would try not to read too much into this. He may have been admiring your appearance, he may have simply drunk too much and what would constitute a normal glance might have been extended as his reactions were slower than normal.
Perhaps it’s best to leave this one alone, unless you have changed your mind about wanting a ‘friends with benefits’ style relationship. If this is how he likes to play it then it might be hard for him to adjust to any other type of relationship and you could run the risk of getting hurt a second time.
If he really wants to make a go of things monogamously then perhaps let him work for it. Let him come to you rather than you reading into something you’re not sure of and approaching him.
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