Megan asks :
Hi Lucy,
I really like this boy but he is 4/5 years older than me. Both of our families are great friends and I have known him all my life. My parents think he likes me but I’m not sure! I really like him. When we meet he gives me massive bear hugs and I’ve caught him looking at me loads. The trouble is he has a horrible girlfriend. His family hate her because she slags off his friends. I really like him what should I do??
Our Reply
Hi Megan,
Not knowing if your love is requited when all the signals are there sounds like it can be quite frustrating for you.
Even if his current girlfriend is not well liked by his family, this is still not the best reason to intervene. Do you really want to be the person that breaks up a relationship even if she is critical of his friends and not the most popular person with his family? Remember that what matters most is what he thinks of her.
If he is showing no signs of breaking up with her then perhaps talk to him and ask him if he is happy- be there for him as a friend-if he is unhappy, try thinking with your head rather than your heart. Perhaps try and support him as you would if you didn’t have feelings for him and look after his best interests.
If he is planning to end it then you might need to give him the space to leave in his own time before telling him how you feel. If he is happy with her then you should probably keep your feelings to yourself, as hard as this might be and try to focus on the friendship.
tagged in Friends Parents Family yin and yang agony aunt
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