Tina asks :
Hi Lucy,
I got diagnosed with an illness and lost my job because of it. I kind of hit a depression although I do try and stay positive. The problem is I feel like I've got nothing to offer anyone. I find it so difficult to socialise and struggle to make conversation so I avoid it even with friends and family. I think my confidence took a huge blow when I lost my job and I've no idea how to get it back. I split with my partner because of how I feel and spend most days alone. I just don't know how to change the way I feel I'd be really grateful for any help and advice. Thank you
Hi Tina,
Agony Aunts on Female First
It sounds like you have had two upheavals at once- finding out about your illness and losing your partner within a short space of time.
It seems that perhaps the person you were romantic with was not right for you as they were unable to support you in your time of need. Maybe when you are ready for another relationship you could make it your priority to find someone who will be there for you in the rough and the smooth.
It is admirable that you are trying to stay positive, as this shows an inner strength in difficult situations- try to build upon this strength. You should feel proud of yourself for taking the step to ask for some help, as this can be the biggest hurdle for some people.
I would suggest making an appointment at your doctors to request a referral to a counsellor. This might help you to talk about the recent changes in your life, if you feel that you can't express these with family and friends. Perhaps after a few sessions you may feel able to talk to others about this, however for now it might benefit you to talk to someone privately.
If there is a waiting time, then I would also suggest the Samaritans as a source of help as they provide a confidential listening service for people in distress. They won't offer any advice simply let you talk for as long as you need.
Is there a support group you can find that relates to your illness? It might help you to connect with other people who have been through the same as you, perhaps take a look online and find if there are any groups in your local area.
If you don't feel like talking to your family- could you still arrange to see them and do things together. Many activities don't involve talking if you are not ready to but do get out of the house and fill in your time with something different. Could you go to the cinema together or watch a movie at home for instance? Their company might make you feel better around other people again, thus helping you to widen your social circle and prepare you for the workplace again.
tagged in Friends Family depression
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