Hi Chris,

When you are in a new relationship, which is what I’m assuming, it can be difficult to determine when is the best time to have sex, especially with the traditional ‘three date rule’ hanging over your head. Some couples feel comfortable having sex before this, some much later down the line- whatever feels right for you both.

I would suggest letting her take the lead on this one if you are not sure. When she is ready, you should be able to detect the signs- she might maintain more eye contact with you, or be more affectionate- she might go about it subtly, or she might be more forward and guide you to where she wants you to touch her, or ask you to do something to her.

Whatever happens, try to be patient, as women generally hold a much bigger attachment to sex than men do. If you look back to early man- women have a lot more invested in sex because it often resulted in childbirth. Although that is not always the case now- that doesn’t take away the feeling that sex is much more of an emotional experience for a woman than a man. Men were primarily preoccupied with spreading their seed if you look far back in our history- which is why often they have a more relaxed attitude towards the act.

Whenever you choose to consummate your relationship then make sure that you are both ready and not just doing it because of social pressures- it will be much more rewarding if you are both in the right place emotionally.