Anonymous asks :
Hi Lucy,
Over the last year and a half, I've constantly been getting feelings of guilt, loneliness, sadness and unnecessary stress. I've been in a relationship for 2 years and last year my boyfriend dumped me for a girl he used to go out with. It broke my heart and I’ve never been the same, but I got over it and we are back together. Then after that my grandmother died unexpectedly, just under a year after my grandfather died. My whole family has been heartbroken since and nothing is the same. I always see the girl my boyfriend dumped me for, and it upsets me and I feel very self-conscious and lack confidence. My mother is no help, as she is usually out gambling to distract her from the fact that she lost her mother last year. My father is no help because he doesn't understand, and just would say that I should stop as it would upset my mother and I hate not having the stability. I feel like I'm mentally unstable in some way, as in depressed or anxious, as I have been randomly getting upset and crying. On top of all this I have to attend choir as it is compulsory, so I have to go even though none of my friends go, with the same girl judging me. My teacher is completely unreasonable, so I can't get out of it. I also feel like I've completely isolated myself from everyone. Of the very few friends I have, they all seem to be slipping away. I constantly feel pressure and get upset and worried about little things of no real reason. My friend lost her grandfather this year and was asking how she was, yet last year and nobody asked me. I just feel completely lonely and as if no one cares. I've had a hard time, but I'm not sure if I'm just being ungrateful, or if something really is wrong. Please help me. Thank you.
Hi Anonymous,
Agony Aunts on Female First
This is a lot for anyone to experience in such a short space of time, it sounds like a very difficult period in your life. More than anything it seems like you need someone to talk to. Why not ask around in school for some help with counselling? If there is nothing there, then if you pop to the doctors they should be able to arrange some counselling for you. This should help you to be able to get all of this off your chest and explore ways to help you cope with the feelings you are having. If your parents are still grieving then they may need some more time before you can talk to them about things. You are entitled to your emotions and to express them, so it is good to work through them by talking about them with someone.
The Samaritans are a very good source of help when you need to talk to someone and simply be heard. They offer an impartial listening service for people in distress or despair, so it may be worth giving them a call.
If you would rather, you can also email them with your worries- however it may take a bit longer to get a reply but a good way to put all of your feelings down in one place, like you have done here.
They also offer a walk in service too, so if you feel like you need to speak to someone face to face, then find your local branch and arrange to pay them a visit.
There are people out there who are willing to listen to you- so it is often good to take advantage of them while you are going through such a complex time.
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