Amy asks :
Hi Lucy,
I've never been an overly sexual person but recently it's gotten worse. I am very much attracted to my boyfriend and I very much love him but have absolutely no interest in having sex with him. Every now and again is force myself into doing it so he doesn't miss out but frequently have to lock myself in the bathroom after to have a cry because sex makes me feel so miserable. My boyfriend has the idea I’m not attracted to him and this upsets him quite a bit and upsets me because it's not true, so is just grin and bear it sometimes. I dread days where is know he'll want sex and I’m running out of excuses to say no. I want to want to have sex, but is just don't and this upsets me. Please help!
Hi Amy,
Agony Aunts on Female First
This sounds very upsetting for you when you have all the other feelings for your partner except the physical ones.
Low libido in women can be caused by lots of things so it might be worth looking at some aspects of your life that you could change to see if it affects your sexual drive.
One common cause is anaemia- this casues a loss of iron during your periods which can leave you to feeling lethargic and therefore have no energy for sex.
Check your pill, some pills have side effects of decreased libido, so it might be that you need to pay a visit to your doctor and get it changed, or if you are on any other form of contraception then perhaps look to changing it.
Diabetes has been known to also make you feel like you are not in the mood.
Are you on any other medication right now- it could be that which is giving you these side effects, again ask your doctor if there are any other alternates.
Other things that might have an impact are what you eat. If you live on processed foods all the time then this can give you peaks and troughs so once you have had your evening meal you might have a dip in energy, which can make you refrain from wanting sex.
Do you exercise? If not then it might be worth trying to introduce some into your life. If you increase your body’s stamina in other physical activities then perhaps your libido will join in.
Libido is also psychological, so are you stressed at work, anxious about anything or depressed? If any of these sound familiar then maybe looking into some counselling to talk about them could help you enormously. Sex is a much about the physical as it is the psychological, so make sure you are healthy in both areas and you should notice a difference.
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