Jason asks :

Hi Lucy,

Help, I have been in a relationship for ten years and its had its ups and downs (she's a constant cheater) but because of kids and fear of being on my own I've never left. Yesterday I met the most amazing girl, we clicked straight away, like everything the same, I'm loyal and don't like hurting people I love but I’ve never had this feeling like this before, I know we've just met but I really want to her, please help x

Hi Jason,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

If you are going through your ups and downs with your girlfriend then perhaps that has made you try to fill in the gaps with this other woman.

If she is a constant cheater and you can’t trust her then perhaps you might be better off apart. If you find that you are not a good team then this could filter down to your kids and they might then follow in your and your partner’s footsteps. Being unhappy and together can sometimes be worse than being happy and apart where your children are concerned.

Perhaps this strong connection with this woman is reinforcing what you have missed with your partner. If you have only just met then it might be too soon to make assumptions about this woman or where it could go. If you are looking elsewhere, however, then maybe that is telling you that you don’t see yourself and your partner as a couple anymore.

You say you are scared to be alone if you were to leave, so perhaps this woman has instilled a bit of faith in you that you could find someone else if you were to start dating again.

Do you feel you have tried everything you can to save you relationship? Could you attend some counselling to explore why your partner felt the need to cheat? Perhaps you could give things one last shot before you make your final decision. 


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