Jennifer asks :
My BF of 1 year just told me "he'll never get married again." I was hoping for a ring and he's not interested in getting married. Ever.
Our Reply
Hi Jennifer,
If you've only been together for a year I wouldn't panic just yet, a lot of men have issues when it comes to thinking about marriage, especially if you say he has already been married before.
You need to ask yourself, if you really love him, would you be willing to carry on your relationship even if he never wants to get married? Can you see yourself with him without that extra commitment? A lot of couples never get married and are perfectly happy. If you are OK with the thought of not getting married I would just carry on as you are if you are both happy. But if you’re not then you will have to sit him down and discuss that with him.
Explain to him that you’ve always wanted to get married and that you think it’s a big part of your future together. You need to be considerate towards the fact that he has already been married and discuss his fears about getting married again. It might be that he’s scared that if you take that next step you could end up having a failed marriage which could ruin your relationship. If this is the case reassure him about your feelings for him and take things slow.
You could always consider a promise ring instead of an engagement or wedding ring, this will prove to you that he does love you and is committed to you without taking the next step to getting married. Discuss this with him and see how it makes him feel.
If it’s meant to be it will be. Just try not to rush him into anything that he isn’t comfortable with.
Good luck.
Jess x
tagged in advice yin and yang agony aunt
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