leanne asks :
hi i have had some trouble with my boyfriend lately. before we met he was left a big inheritance from his mum which i didn't know about until we had been together for a few months. at first he kept spending a lot of money on me ( taking me away for weekends and abroad) i told him i wasn't comfortable with it but he seemed really hurt when i objected so i gave in and said i would pay him back but when i tried he wouldn't take the money. we have now been living together for a year and i have recently lost my job so he has had to pay all of the rent and bills. it is only now that he has been accusing me of using him for money, i have reminded him that i objected to him spending money on me at the beginning and that its not my fault i lost my job but he won't listen and every little argument we have always comes back to money. what should i do?
Yin replies
It may have got to the point where he can’t afford to buy you things and take you places, so he is worrying because the money that was there before suddenly is not now. Now you have the added pressure of living together and if you are without work then this will add to his worries. His pride is probably a little shaken too that he can’t provide for you both.
Yang replies
If you find a job, any job, to ensure that you are contributing to the situation then he has no argument. You will then show him that you are trying and not taking advantage. If he can’t accept that you are not using him for money then you need to try an show him that money isn’t everything, make meals, rather than going out, organise cheap days out, not visits abroad and make cut backs where you can in other ways.
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