Mamon asks :
Hi Lucy,
I was in relationship for 7 and a half years. My boyfriend felt things weren’t working out between us, so he got involved with other girls and broke up with me 2 years back. I was devastated. Both our parents knew about us and in 2 years span we were to get married. I had lot of trouble to get over my broken relationship. Meanwhile one of my friends supported me throughout my hard times when my ex-boyfriend came back to me saying sorry and wanting to patch things up with me, my friend supported me and advised me that if a person can cheat on me after 7 years there was no assurance he wouldn't do it again. According to the situation it wasn’t possible to get back with my ex. This friend of mine later proposed to me and made me believe how caring he was towards me. I wasn’t able to fall in love again, but the friend of mine has always stood by me and has immense love towards me. Finally he melted my heart and I also fell for him. After being in a relationship with this new guy, I recently came to know that he is cheating on me with other girls. After getting into a relationship with me this new guy got into relationship with someone else too. After getting caught he confessed and said he was sorry and broke all his contacts with the other girl. Now he says he will make me meet his mother as soon as possible. I am too devastated to think rationally. I don't know what to do. Is this what you get when you trust someone blindly? Was it important to break my trust again?
Our Reply
Hi Mamon,
You were vulnerable and to an extent he may have taken advantage of that. If he wanted you at the time, telling you that your ex was no good was good advice, however it sent you into his arms. You needed to trust someone again and you did it, unfortunately only to get hurt a second time. If you were friends first if you had already developed a trust for him this will have automatically transferred over to your romantic life without questions. If he was a faithful friend why would he be an unfaithful boyfriend?
Unfortunately, he spoke for himself all those years ago by saying that if someone has cheated on you once, what is to say he won't do it again? Have you considered breaking it off before you meet his mum? Can you trust him again after what he has done to you?
If you are able to take him back then perhaps some couple’s counselling is in order for you both. So that you can regain your trust for him and that he can demonstrate that he is committed to you, will remain faithful and that the time worth other women is over.
Lucy x
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