Sarah asks :
Hi Lucy,
Am 23 my boyfriend is 24 we have a beautiful daughter and I love them to bits but through my pregnancy he was constantly watching porn and swinging sites. He then cheated four weeks before I had our daughter we were split up for 6 months since we’ve got back together I’ve caught texting and sending pics of himself as well as receiving pics from the girl he cheated on me with. He is very hot tempered and I’ve caught him watching porn again he never wants to have sex but will watch porn he said its normal.. I tried explain how it hurts me and makes me feel but he doesn’t seem to care or willing to stop I can’t approach because he makes out that I am not normal am I over reacting?
Our Reply
Hi Sarah,
It sounds like you have given him an opportunity to redeem his actions after he cheated on you the first time and he has not proven himself to be deserving of it. With the sexual messages he is sending it seems that he has taken this second chance for granted.
It seems like there is a lot of negativity in your relationship with his temper, his inappropriate messages, his inability to understand how this is affecting you. If he is not willing to stop then it perhaps shows a lack of your respect for your relationship and how to make things better within it.
Have you got someone that you could stay with until you decide what it is you want to do? Perhaps if you get away for a while you could see if you feel better when separated from him. If so then this could be an indication that you are better off apart. It might also jerk him into realising that you are serious about improving things in your relationship and he might try to change his ways. You have already given him another opportunity to improve and he hasn’t done anything differently so try not to hold your hopes too high on him changing this time.
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