Rebecca asks :
Hi Lucy,
I think my friend may have a personality disorder. Recently, I have found out that a friend of mine has been telling lies about me, she's said that I have had 3 miscarriages, however I have never been pregnant as I'm only 16. She has also said that my twin died in her harms, but I have never had a twin. A long time ago, she told me, that someone died in her arms, and again he was a 'twin'. She is always exaggerating and lying to get attention. She's accused several of my friends of 'talking about her' when they clearly have not, her accusations are out of hand. When she was 4/5 she used to tell lies to my mam about her 24 year old boyfriend who she met at the 'caravan park' she'd fabricated it as she'd go into great depth about mythical things. She also used to self-harm and lacks confidence, she always tells me about the noses she's broken in fights and how many people she's slept with and I know almost all of it is exaggerated. I'm under the impression she may be a compulsive liar, however I am unsure and I'm not sure what I should do as I am sick of her lying to me and about me. I would really appreciate advice, many thanks :)
Hi Rebecca,
Agony Aunts on Female First
It sounds like you possibly need to stay clear of this girl. If she is constantly causing friction between you, your friends and family then perhaps you need to cut all ties with her. Some people who don’t know her might assume that the things she is saying about you are actually true and get you into trouble.
It may be that she needs help, however that is something for a professional. If the story she told you about her twin dying in her arms is true, then she might need some counselling to help her cope with this. Something this traumatic, if it is true, might have sparked this bout of lying and exaggerating about a lot of other things in her life and other’s. Why not suggest that she makes an appointment with the doctor and get referred to a counsellor? All schools and colleges have counselling services, so why not encourage her to get an appointment with someone in your place of education? People don’t usually lie to this extent without there being a reason, so perhaps she needs to explore what kick stared it all. It could be that she lacks attention at home and so tries to get it for herself at school, it could be that she is trying to get people to like her by having information about others when everyone enjoys a bit of gossip. Whatever the reason, she needs to get this nipped in the bud or she will live her life constantly pushing people away by telling her stories. She needs a chance to help herself while she can. All you can do is suggest it to her and accompany her when she goes. The rest is up to her.
Lucy x
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