weewheels asks :
I have been married for 25 years have 3 kids 13, 15 and 18. my wife is 47 and is not interested in sex. Infact she never really was. She just goes through the motions. She will never appear naked. She has no reason for this as she is still very attractive. It is getting to the stage I will look elsewhere. Any suggestions?
Yin replies
When a woman reaches a certain age her hormones become unbalanced as she reaches menopause and this can have a direct effect on sex drive. Sometimes it can be the result of contraception, if you say that this has been something that has been consistent throughout your marriage then it could be this rather than menopause issues. Low sex drive can be a result of lack of exercise and also diet, so perhaps discuss these things with her. When you say she goes through the motions, is this a result of lack of experimentation in the bedroom? Sometimes people can become complacent when there is monotony in the bedroom and not put in the effort or seem excited about the act. Perhaps suggest introducing new things, such as dressing up for one another (if she is insecure about her body), role playing, sex toys, new positions, all of these things might help reconnect you both. If the sex has always been predictable then it may be time to inject something new into your routine. Perhaps arrange a meal, just for the two of you, a hotel somewhere away from home and take some things to experiment with.
Yang replies
Twenty five years and 3 children is lot to throw away for a new sexual encounter. You may be gratified in the short term, however, would it be worth damaging everything you have with you wife of this? Do you still love her? You admit you still find her attractive, it would be a lot worse if that was not still there. If you still find her physically attractive this is a great basis to work from.
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