Ellen asks :

Hi Lucy, 

So I think I'm in love with my colleague, but I feel like I'm wrong to think that because I've literally only known the guy for a month. But he's perfect to me, he makes me laugh, we have so much in common it's ridiculous! I can completely be myself around him, and I literally cannot stop smiling like a loon whenever he crosses my mind or he comes up in conversation. But I have two slight problems, one being that he's just come out of a relationship, and the other being that he's leaving in 5 weeks to travel around Asia for 8 months. I mean if I had the money, and he asked me, I would go with him in a heartbeat, but I don't have the money... So I don't know what to do really...?

 

Hi Ellen,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

You would potentially be putting a relationship at a great disadvantage if he is to leave in just 5 weeks. If he did feel the same way, 5 weeks is not long to develop meaningful relationship. If you already feel strongly for him, then you might want an exclusive relationship and he may want to remain single while he travels. There are many complications while talking about it hypothetically.

Perhaps the reason he is going to Asia is to put his last relationship behind him. He may just need a friend right now and is enjoying your company.

It might be fairer to you both to wait. If he comes back single and you still feel the same, then that might be the time to ask him out.

In between, why not stay in touch? If you genuinely enjoy his company and he makes you laugh then you could have some exchanges while he is away. With that said, try not to put your life on hold for him coming back. Your life doesn't end when he leaves and start again when he returns. Make sure that you do plenty of things for you while he's away so you're not left pining for him. It might help you to go on the odd date or two as well to keep your options open.


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