Shelby asks :
Hi Lucy,
I met a guy on a dating site. We texted each other for a while and he asked if I wanted to meet him and spend the night at his. I agreed, thinking it would just be a bit of fun. It was really strange I met him and tried to talk to him but he gave one word answers or just ignored me completely. We had sex which was amazing, then when he finished he went back to ignoring me. I tried to cuddle him for a bit but he didn't reciprocate. Then he said do you mind if I take you home? Which was fine I felt so uncomfortable I just wanted out of there! So as I drove home I thought ‘oh well he just wanted sex’, and that's the end of it. But when I got back there was a text asking if I was ok and he said he was just really tired - with kisses. I don't get it at all! Why ask me to go over and not talk? Was he just really shy or nervous he might not perform? Then if it was just about the sex why check on me after and feel the need to justify himself? I'm so confused! I text him the next day asking if he was ok - but no reply. Thing is for all he was quiet, well pretty much silent, I do like him and would like to see him again. Any ideas?
Hi Shelby,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Most of his behaviours have seemed pretty negative after having sex- not cuddling, not replying to messages and nothing since you were together. All of this could mean that he only wanted the sex and no intimacy or relationship afterwards.
Perhaps you have invested more into this meeting that he has. If he is not making the effort to stay in touch with you now then it might be time to move on and look for someone who does want the same things as you.
Just because he might have only wanted sex doesn't necessarily make him an all-round bad man- which could explain why he was interested in you getting home ok. However, that doesn't mean that he is ready for something serious either. If you are looking for a guy to be in a relationship with then perhaps go out on a few more dates before sleeping together so you can gauge if you want the same things from your initial few meetings as he does.
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