Tamara asks :

Hi, I was in a relationship for about a year, it was all going well until his best friend said that he wasn't keen on our relationship. He then broke it off with me, but we continued to talk as friend. We've been talking again for about another year now, and he keep telling me that his feelings for me are really strong and that he wants to make it work between us again. When I finally let me guard down and the feelings for his start to come back again, he tells me how he's still in love with his long-term ex before me, or takes other girls on dates. I am so confused.

Our Reply

Hi Tamara,

If you are both confused then this is not a great basis for a relationship. If he told you that his feelings are strong then it may be that he has exaggerated these because in the moment that is what he felt. But if he can’t make decision then it sounds like it’s best to leave this alone and move on.

If you did get back together there is nothing to say that someone won’t come along and rock the boat again by telling him something that he doesn’t want to hear. If you care about someone enough, then you make it work, if your friends don’t like them, not end the relationship. Every relationship needs some negotiation.  If you are with someone you want to be the one person that they want, not one of two or three potentials. You shouldn’t have to wait around until he makes a decision, take the time to move on as perhaps you are better off just as friends.

Lucy x 


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