Sophie asks :
Hello Lucy,
I split with my ex amicably almost a month ago due to myself not being sexually attracted to him, we never really argued and he is a great guy but there was no spark or passion so I ended things. We still live together and have remained friends. We booked a holiday away together which we have just came back from and ended up sleeping together most days. Old feelings are resurfacing and I am unsure what to do as when you are away it isn't reality until you get back home. I am tempted to give the relationship another try but I don't want to play with his feelings. As things could possibly slip back and we would stop having sex again. The relationship felt more as friends than a steamy relationship. I really do not know what to do as we get on so well but sexually it just wasn't there when we were together until we went on holiday together. Thank you
Hi Sophie,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Holidays can be a false representation of how a relationship functions day to day. With no stresses or worries the relationship can appear to be a lot easier than back at home- making it feel like it’s flawless.
Perhaps you could give things another go only on the condition that you both make a bigger effort in the bedroom, if this is the only thing lacking then it might be worth trying again. Better that lacking that his good nature.
If you are certain that you will slip back into your old ways then possibly the holiday was a good way to enjoy some final moments together before you go your separate ways.
Have you talked to him about how he feels now you have come home? Did what happened on holiday change things for him?
It could be that the holiday was what you needed to reignite the flame. Perhaps, regular weekends away where you can both relax and unwind and enjoy each other might give you the boost your sex life needs- some escapism to get the ball rolling again.
If he really wants to keep you as his girlfriend then perhaps the jolt of this break up might have given him an incentive to try a bit harder where you feel you are lacking as a couple.
If you feel that you have a good friendship and the spark might dwindle once more then perhaps it's time to embrace what you are best at and draw a line in the sand for anything romantically.
Whatever you decide it might be worth talking to him first to see where he is at in all of this. Honesty and openness might cause him less pain if you do decide that you are not suited as a couple.
tagged in Friends Relationship Passion yin and yang agony aunt
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